Hiring from Within
FINDING YOUR DOORMAN
Brent Tiesma | Tech CA
One of the best knowledge bombs that Dr. Joel delivers at Think by Design is the concept of the Doorman.
Life is about self-responsibility, it’s about accepting the outcome of decisions you made that led you to the point where you are now. But part of that self-responsibility is also about making decisions based on your own self-interests (no one is coming to save you) and creating the life you want to live so it aligns with what you value. Of course, life is also about living with, coping with and handling stress. If we do that poorly, we breakdown, physically and/or mentally and open ourselves to a downward spiral of labels, conditions and symptoms. While none of us can totally avoid stress, for many of us, we let far more stress into our lives than we need to. Just think about the stressors in your life related to a time when you should have known better and simply said ‘NO’ to something or someone, or worse, you have someone in your life whose negative energy drains you, your positivity or, your bank account (sorry Moms & Dads, your kids don’t count – you’re stuck with them).
So, how do you say NO to the things you don’t want in your life?
That’s when you need to come to Think by Design to learn more about implementing the Doorman principle. The Doorman is your “metaphorical bouncer” who holds your value list in their hand and allows you to objectively see if a person/idea/activity is worthy of your time, energy, money or something you should stay far, far away from. Simply put, if someone or something doesn’t meet the criteria of who or what you want to be, then they don’t make it into your life. It’s a simple idea that gives you a clear and easy platform to say NO. NO to requests that place unnecessary stress on you and serve no purpose in making life better and more importantly, saying NO to people who shouldn’t be in your life. After all, “The difference between successful people and incredibly successful people is the frequency in which they say ‘NO’.”
So why do we open up our lives to bad decisions and toxic people in the first place? Two reasons really. The first is when we make our decisions based on someone else’s values or view of us. We end up so wrapped up in appealing to them or society that we ignore our own happiness. The second reason is when we choose opportunity over values. We see a golden ticket in front of us and we get tunnel vision on the prize and forget who we are and what we stand for. Take the next few minutes to think about any time in your life those reasons applied to you. For instance, you’re offered a job promotion that takes you away from your family. If your highest value is being there for your family, then this opportunity could place you under a lot of undue stress. Likewise, if you love your job and you’re dream is to become an expert in your field, then saying NO because of family might not be a healthy choice either. Make life easy and let your doorman choose for you.
To live an extraordinary life you need to make decisions based on your OWN values. The doorman principle gives you a conscious filter to slow those moments down so you can decide if it is truly good for you and will move you forward. It may sound novel or gimmicky but the key to your happiness comes down to how well you can guard your life’s door. Frankly, you deserve no less.